As I ponder the many memories of my father, my childhood and our close relationship, I understand now that he taught me so much more about life and the many lessons that it brings, than I could have ever imagined. He neglected to say, however, the lessons would sometimes seem extremely complicated, but invaluable. I realize the tough side that I so proudly portray was partly instilled by my dad, yet he taught us that we are rare jewels, delicate flowers and should be cherished, treated and respected as such. His, you can make it attitude has carried me through life! It was entered in my DNA from birth. My father’s blood flows through my veins, shaping me. I am his daughter.
Complications indicates complexity, something hard to understand, explain or deal with; having many parts. The dictionary was correct, my father was indeed a complicated man, but the best father a girl could ask for; he was all that! Not without faults mind you, but a genuine and caring love for his children. The kind of love that teaches, some vocal and some not so much, excellence extolled and required. Love demonstrating the dynamic complexity of a mixed family of American Indian and black heritage. From a small girl, I saw the strength, endurance and fortitude which strengthened my mind! My father had character that showed in the way he shared truth, whether it hurt or not! He endured, stood proud, and was kind, demanding it of us; “Character Development” he would argue! Stand firm and fight a good fight! His very presence said so! We love and respect him for the power that he portrays, and his soft gentle nature. Yes, his firm stance on life and issues were not to be ignored – complicated, but balanced.
At 83, my father is still sensitive to his children’s feelings, but still finds that balance in having that tough guy image, to sharing true feelings and emotions with his daughters. Complicated feelings were instilled from a small boy that he now passes down to his sons and daughters – balanced. No longer were the secrets that men discussed amongst themselves in tribal secrecy for bragging rights. No longer that tough guy in the presence of his daughters! He shared, as we all should, so our children can grow up strong, with character, integrity and endurance! Not hatred and selfishness! My father, the provider, a protector, yet emotional – complicated! As I think back over my life, he’s always been there – hard times and all. It seems that I’ve always been protected. There’s nothing like being guided to your destiny from birth by a selfless love.
To sum it all up, it doesn’t take a man with a master’s degree! My father had a 3rd grade education, yet they called him the “great philosopher”. The local paper even wrote an article on him and his knowledge! It doesn’t take all your time, but it will take quality time to rear your children with character. Endurance and unselfish love can conquer anything.