I was not raised by my parents but by my great, great grandmother, Lula Clark McGrady, whom I miss and love very, very much; she was my EVERYTHING and took great care of me – she died in 1973 at the age of 106. I moved to South Florida at the age of 17, when I finished high school to live with my father. I wanted to live with my father so I could have a relationship with him and for him to tell me he loved me and to hug me; he never did any of those things when I was a little girl. When I got to FL, I had not seen my father in 15 years but the things I wanted to happen (my father hugging and telling me he loved me) never happened; my father was still distant and act like I was not there – he took up no time with me. Once again, my father’s lack of love for me, caused me to feel rejected and abandoned.
I have suffered with the feelings of rejection and abandonment all my life because of the lack of love and affection shown to me by my mother and father; especially my father. The lack of love from my father, caused me to go looking for love in all the wrong places, putting me into 7 abusive marriages, from age 19 to 49. It was by the grace and love of God that I am alive today; God brought me out of them all in my right mind and not looking like what I have been through! I give God ALL the praise and glory for my life! Even to this day, rejection, loneliness, and abandonment tries to get me down at times but I keep looking to God and will not be defeated by the things of my past.
In July 2014, I got a big shock when I got word that my father was in a hospice facility in South Florida! I did not hesitate to go see about him because in spite of all that had happened, he was till my father! My father was in the final stages of stomach cancer and Alzheimer’s! When I first arrived, my father did not recognize me but he did the second day; the look on his face when he saw me was priceless-he was so glad to see me! In his look, I saw that my father really loved me and all the unforgiveness I felt for him for years, left. Thank God for the reconciliation!
Daughters, do not give up on yours fathers and fathers, love your daughters-show them and tell them. I is so very important for fathers to validate who their daughters are so they will not go looking for love in all the wrong place! It is never too late for fathers and daughters to reconcile with the help of God! God bless and keep you fathers and daughters.
Dr. Dorothy E. Hooks’ vision is to warn women about the consequences of marrying outside the will of God. Dr. Hooks does not want women to live their lives in bondage as she did. Jesus came that we might have life and have it more abundantly, not for us to live in bondage. Dr. Hooks has dedicated her life to help abused women, the homeless, and Veterans, in whatever way she can.
In Dr. Hooks’ book, “Unholy Matrimony: Healing For The Abused Woman,”she talks about the consequences of marrying out of God’s will. Dr. Hooks states, “This is very important because when we marry out of God’s will, we form ungodly soul ties and this will most likely cause us to become victims of domestic violence. God is the only One who can bring you out of an abusive relationship. Remember though, when you come out, you will have wounds and before you get into another relationship, you must allow God to heal you.”