A Father May Never Know His Influence

My dad told me this story many years ago while I was in high school. It had such an impact on me that it’s etched in my memory. There had always been two very important people in a particular family: a father and his one son. They were revered by grandchildren, great-grandchildren, great-great-grandchildren, aunts, uncles, […]

Never say “I CAN’T”

Philippians 4:13 I can do all things through Christ which strengthens me. Growing up, my Dad would not allow us to say “I can’t”. This was like saying a bad word. From my most early memories, I remember my Dad saying “Don’t say I can’t. You can do all things through Jesus Christ. He can […]

How Your Male Presence Can Positively Impact Your Children

The presence and role of “Dad” plays an important role in their children’s development. The presence of both parents with low conflicts between them show a high level of warmth to their children even when divorced, and can lower their children’s internal problems (Chen, 2009). Fathers who are emotionally and psychologically well-adjusted can affect their […]

Daddies & Daughters: Making Your Kids A Hobby

Daddies & Daughters: Making Your Kids A Hobby   I know how lucky I was to have the stability of both a mother and father growing up. Being a divorce attorney for the last eleven years, I know that truth about my life now more than ever. My mother was lucky enough to be able […]

Oh S–t! I’m a dad.

Oct. 19, 2015 is a day I will never forget. That’s the day my daughter Savannah was born. When I first saw her, I cried. I knew that no matter what I do in life, I will always be her father. I knew I have to set the tone for all of her dealings with […]

Working (and Eating) Like a Man

Some of my most treasured memories growing up are from working with my dad. Though my dad was well-educated and hardworking, he had to work a lot of low-paying jobs to make ends meet. When I was old enough, I went to help him with his handyman gig on the weekends. We would load up his Ford […]

In Search of My Father

I never knew my biological father. On my original birth certificate, under the space where it says FATHER, the square is void of a name, the word UNKNOWN typed there like some dark proclamation. Years later, after I was adopted, I got a new birth certificate—with my new father’s name in the place where once […]

Dad and the Red Cadillac

“When are you going to write a book so you can buy me a Cadillac?” With a smile, my dad has asked me this question numerous times. Usually I look at him in bewilderment, because my dream to be a published author is a scary one.  Yet, my dad has always believed in my love […]

7 Lessons I Learned from my Dad

My dad turns 86 soon. As his birthday approaches, I am conscious of how appreciative I am of the impact he has had on my life. He has been an active part of my life, and he has taught me vital lessons. Without his guidance, love, and patience, I would have been an entirely different […]

Take Heart

When I think about great fathers, I immediately pause and give thanks to God because I get to experience the privilege of raising my own sons with the greatest father I know, my husband. Watching him with my sons is one of the most beautiful things in my life wherein I see God’s glory and […]

It’s Funny, The Things You Remember

My mom’s second husband adopted me when I was two, but we only lived together for three years after that.  They got divorced, and suddenly had a see-you-on-the-weekend dad. But, from those early years, when we hung out alone until he got remarried, my memories are happy and strong.  And the most vivid ones are […]

How Can I Be a Father When I’ve Never Been a Son?

One of the most poignant questions that has transgenerationally been suspended in the minds and hearts of families of color is: how can I be a father when I have never been a son? More often in not, in the African American culture, there is an absenteeism of fathers.  The reasons are obvious — due to lengthy […]

It Is Never Too Late!

I was not raised by my parents but by my great, great grandmother, Lula Clark McGrady, whom I miss and love very, very much; she was my EVERYTHING and took great care of me – she died in 1973 at the age of 106. I moved to South Florida at the age of 17, when […]

Can You Come Out and Play?

“Uncle Donnie? Can you come out and play?” What do you do when your two-year old nephew comes to live with you because his father didn’t want to be a father? I faced that dilemma when I was still a teen, 14 years-old. Run and hide?  Refer him to someone else? I never considered either […]