As a Dad you are the most beautiful gift to your children. You play an important role in how your child develops, what they actively engage in, why they want to do what they do or why they don’t.
Most women I know are either daddy’s little girl or wanting to be. A strained relationship can build up so many anxieties in women into their adult life, all from the affect her dad made in her life. The first thing I can tell you is whether you show up or you don’t, everything shapes our lives as your children. The worst is probably showing up and not actually being there. Not alive in the moment.
All anyone wants to do is feel alive and the moment you make your child laugh uncontrollably or you see them copy a gesture you make, you’ve just created a bond that is more beautiful than all of nature.
For me, I’ve unknowingly led a life by my dad’s influence. He made a massive impact in my life without really teaching me to do the things I do. Children copy adults. I copied my dad, even when he said; “Do what I say, not as I do.” That phrase doesn’t work because I’m watching how you interact with other people, what you do when you pick up the phone, when you find something funny, when you don’t, when you get angry, when you laugh, when you make mistakes, when you make triumphs, pretty much when you do anything in eyesight.
At the age of 5 years old, I decided I was going to become better at drawing than my dad. All I was doing was watching him doodle on a pad of paper in biro, it was a blue pen. That’s how much detail I took in at that age. That moment shaped the rest of my life. From there I was recognised at being talented at drawing and art, all the way through my school years until I eventually choose CGI as a career path and steered away the traditional elements of art.
It doesn’t stop with art though. I moved away from traditional art because as a career there was no money in it. Watching my dad work tirelessly at two jobs growing up and also being promoted into higher and higher roles, earning more money. My new goal was to be someone like him, someone that made enough money to have a good life. That’s why I chose CGI because I could get a job in it and I could climb the ranks in something I’m good at, just like my dad did. (Although my career’s moved on since then, my dad still has a huge influence on the actions I take. I listen to him and respect his opinion in my life choices).
My dad is my inspiration and always has been, but like I said above, children copy what you do or associate things to themselves from you. Because my dad works so hard, he gets tired and he is quicker to get angry. I would watch him on the phone to sales calls, I’d see his anger increase, go red in the face and argue down the phone. That made it hard for me to pick up the phone and talk to people because I associated making a phone call with someone getting angry at me. My dad is my hero, all I’m doing is picking up unconscious signs of who I have to be in this world from his actions, good and bad.
I’m not trying to scare you, you don’t have to be perfect. You just have to be you.
Most importantly, the only thing you need to ask yourself around your children is “Who am I being to cause that reaction in them?”
At a young age, they will reflect who you are and as an adult, you always have a choice of who that is. Also your greatest power comes when you show other people how powerful they can be and in that respect you will always inspire your children towards their own greatness, even if that means they just want to be like their dad.
So thank you Dads for showing up and making that difference.